My sweet babette had been My sissy slave (mainly over the phone, but for a small handful of live visits) for some time. My babette is not only a true sissy, but a true slave. As with all true slaves, their main (if not only) need, is to be used. babette found herself presented with the opportunity to serve, real time, a local Mistress to her on a regular basis. slave babette came to Me seeking My guidance, she felt torn…….between her devotion to Me, and her desire to be used as a real time slave on a weekly basis. Because of O/our distance, I am not able to offer babette that quantity and regularity of use. I therefore encouraged her to explore her new possibility…..I know there is nothing like real time. As I did this, My heart was heavy and sad at the thought of giving My babette over to Another. But, I will always look out for My property’s well being, and will never accept or keep a slave that is not Mine heart and soul 100%. W/we had a long chat in which I told her that I felt she had to explore this potential situation…..the possibility of regular weekly real time use. The email that follows is what I received from her after that chat.

By the way, My babette never did leave Me. In a talk W/we had a couple of days later, she begged Me to order her to stay with Me and stop pursuing anything with Anyone else.

Well here i am sitting at my keyboard trying to explain to You how much You mean to me. And as usual, i know that i will fail to communicate properly the way You make me feel. As i signed off messenger tonight, i was crying. i honestly love You Mistress, and i can't imagine that ever changing. The things You have taught me, the things that You have helped me feel, the things that i have learned about myself because of You will never go away.

i still remember that first call we had together. i never in my wildest dreams would have ever thought that it would have turned into such a deep relationship. The control You had over me instantly when i heard Your voice, and told me to be on my knees and naked was just incredible. You were like a drug, and i couldn't get enough of it. Just before i hung up the phone, i asked You if i could serve You again. When You said i could, i can remember the adrenaline start to pump through me. i knew i had found something, and Someone special. And boy, is that an understatement. As the time went by, week after week, You continued to blow me away. And when You mentioned that i may come and visit You live, i couldn't believe it. Never in my wildest dreams did i think that You would ever think enough of me to allow me to meet You in person. Then we hit that point in late December when i allowed my horniness to get the best of me and i bid on another auction (a silly, meaningless cyber chat). When you found out about it, my heart sank like it never has before. i literally felt sick to my stomach. i said to myself while we were on the phone, that if You ever forgive me for this mistake i would never let You down again. We wound up on the phone for almost 2 hours if i recall. And when we were done, You showed Your truly incredible forgiving side and forgave me. i made it my mission to make sure that i never let anything that i did disappoint You again.

So when it came to that weekend in January that i was to come and see You, i felt so proud. When i got there, i think it was the coldest day of the winter. You had me out walking the streets to find a store that sold clear nail polish. It was so cold, i had to go from building to building because i could barely catch my breath from that temperature. And when the time came that You pulled Your vehicle to the front of the hotel, i basically ran out of the lobby to meet You. When i got to hug You, it was like heaven. i was actually there in a hug with my Mistress. What in the world could be better? Then You came up to my room, and went through all my girly things. You had me wear my bra and falsies to dinner that night. Actually for lunch the next day for that matter. i remember i kept looking at You from across the table and i couldn't believe i was there having dinner with the Woman that i actually worshipped. As You drove me back to the hotel, You pinched me about as hard as anyone ever has. It felt so incredible to feel pain for You. i almost melted. If i only could have suffered for You more Mistress.

As time went by Mistress, i only grew more and more in love with You. i do love You Mistress. Nobody has ever made me feel the way that You do. You made me feel more alive than i ever have in my whole life. Nobody else has ever seen the real me. Nobody else has ever even known that babette exists within me. And certainly nobody else could have ever accepted me as babette. Not only did You let me exist as babette, but You encouraged me to be as feminine as i could. You accepted, tortured, loved, and played with me as nobody else ever has or ever will. Believe me, when i first started this relationship with You i truly understood, and still do, all the limits. But please understand if there were anyway i could be serving You in real time as opposed to someone else it certainly would be You. But i understand i have a son that i have to continue to help raise, and that excludes me serving You full time, real time. But even if i do end up kneeling in front of someone else and serving them, my heart will always belong to You. i will always deep within my heart wish it was You that i was serving and not whoever else it is that i'm in kneeling for. Once again tonight, You showed how incredible You are by being so understanding, and caring abuot what i was going to do.

Please know that i do not take this step lightly. It's not like i'm just randomly wandering off to see what's next. But i feel this deep within my soul that i need to serve r/t. i need to be a slave Mistress. i need to feel the pat on the head when i do well, and the smack against my ass when i mess up. For all the feelings that i have experienced with You, it has only made me want more. i still remember the tone of Your voice, as You told me when i was allowed to use the bathroom. i remember the way You told me that i had to throw away the remainder of my male underwear, and only wear panties from that point on. i remember not only what You've told me, but the way. Your words have always gone through my ears and straight to my head, and my heart. It has helped guide me down the road to know what i am. And there is no thank You strong enough to cover that.

As i always tried to do when i typed up a post session email, i would like to finish with a thank You. You deserve so many great things Mistress. You deserve all those great slaves that serve You that were at that dinner table for Your birthday Mistress. It was so very clear to me how much puppy boy loves You, and takes care of You. You are obviously in excellent hands with him. And i know You and gina have a very special relationship. It's clear how much You have done for gina, and how much she appreciates it. missy also holds a special place in Your family, and he clearly loves You and Your kids. You are very lucky to have someone such as missy. Maybe lucky is not the word. You deserve someone like missy to take care of all the things he does. And shy... it was so clear from sitting across the table from him that he truly worships the ground You walk on. Apparently time has shown that i didn't deserve to be there. i have let You down by this, and hope i won't be thought about negatively by any of Your stable. i truly am blessed that You thought enough of me to include me in on that special occasion. It is a night i will never forget. The smile on your face, and the happiness of everyone at that table, as we were all fortunate enough to spend that time with You is something i will never forget. You deserve all Your evenings to be as happy as that one was. i hope i was able to play a small part in that. And i hope that i have brought a smile to Your face when You wanted one. For all i was usually able to give to You was my twisted sense of humor, and i loved it when i could hear the smile in your voice. It truly made me feel proud when i could make You smile.

Well, to be honest with You, this is the second version of this email that i am sending to You. i got all the way finished with the first one, and something happened, and it got wiped out. And as i look up at this, i know i am leaving out some very important things that i wanted to tell You. So, i just want to say one final thing before i send this. i need it to be perfectly clear. i love You Mistress Sarah. You are the best thing that has happened to me. i will never forget all that You have done for me. i hope we stay in touch. i hope that the door is still open if this doesn't turn out. But i have to try this. i simply need to. Have a good night Mistress, and i will talk to You SOON.

love,

babette